"Want a Mentor?"

Guest blog by Dan Reiland

My mentor, John Maxwell, has written and spoken about being mentored by the great coach John Wooden among others. I recently received a question by email asking: "How does one go about getting the greatest NCAA coach (John Wooden) as a mentor? Did he (Maxwell) just ask for regular meetings and what does mentorship look like?"

Good questions.

I will admit that getting John Wooden as a coach is an extraordinary circumstance involving an extraordinary leader. But on the other hand, John Maxwell didn't start there. It was only after nearly 30 years of successful leadership that John was able to connect with Coach Wooden. It was John's desire to grow and his great passion to add value to people's lives that made the difference. The fact that John is a tremendous student is also a very significant part of the story.

Over the years I've wondered which is more important -- to have a great mentor or to be a great student? The easy answer is both. But more and more I think the secret is in being a great student. You can have the most brilliant mentor in the world, even a famous one, but if you aren't ready to pay the price, dig in, learn and change, it won't matter.

I love John's early stories about offering to pay $100.00 for an hour of someone's time just to ask questions and learn. Back then $100.00 might as well have been $1,000.00!! But that didn't matter to John. That showed how serious he was, and at age 65 John is still passionate about learning and growing. I think that's one of the reasons his books and talks are so good. They come not only from (now) 40 years of experience, but also from a fresh place of learning and relevancy.

In contrast, I've seen men and women receive an hour or so of someone's time and show up ill-prepared. They had no written questions. They talked more than listened and expressed very little gratitude. It was almost as if they had some time to kill and thought that might be fun. When you do that to a busy person, they will not give you a second meeting.

So, do you want a mentor? Let me offer some good advice.

1. Be good at something first.

This might sound strange, but you need to be good at something before you ask someone to help you be great at something. You can be good at anything! That doesn't matter. You may want to be a great leader and your only claim to fame is that you are really good at golf or giving a talk. Maybe you are brilliant at math or a technological genius type. Here's the point, if you are good at something, you have shown the passion and discipline to create the needed potential to become great at what you really want. I don't want to discourage you, but if you've just been hanging out and you've never worked hard at anything, you're not ready for a mentor. Perhaps you're a young adult and your only claim to fame is that you were an A student in college. Great! That's what I'm talking about. Get good at something first.

2. Seek someone just a little ahead of you.

A common mistake is to think: "If I'm going for a mentor, I'm going right to the top and getting the best." I appreciate the sentiment, but you are likely making a mistake. For example, if a pastor who serves in a church of 500 seeks a mentor who pastors a church of 5,000, the two of them clearly live in two different worlds and they barely speak the same language. Yes, leadership principles are leadership principles. That's true, but trust me on this, and this is the key, you are much better off being mentored by someone who understands where you are because they were there at one time, and maybe even not so long ago! If you lead a church of 500 try to get a mentor who leads a church of 800 to 1,200. This is not a legalistic thing. Don't get hung up on the numbers, just go with the idea. And of course, make the ask.

3. Think intentionally organic.

Don't ask for lots of regularly scheduled meetings. You will likely lose a potential mentor that way. Don't ask for monthly or even quarterly connects. Go for a more intentionally organic approach. Here's what I mean. If you can hang with a couple meetings (phone or in person) a year plus a few short emails, you might be surprised by how quickly you get a yes. Intentional refers to staying strategic and on purpose and the organic simply means to catch the meetings when it works out naturally in both your schedules.

You don't need lots of meetings, not if you really want to change and grow. Information requires lots of meetings -- transformation requires only a few. If you connect with a good mentor two or three times in a year, that is plenty. It will take you at least that much time between conversations to really put to practice what was given to you. Now let's do the math, if you have two or three mentors, you can see that would be six to nine meetings a year – basically way too much.

Note #1: When it's a boss/employee relationship, of course you meet much more often, but much of that is just "doing business." That's natural and normal. It is unrealistic to think that's all mentoring. In fact, if it is, you are likely into something closer to a counseling relationship than coaching and mentoring.

Note #2: When it's a crisis situation, everything changes. If it's a true crisis, your mentor will get that and quickly respond, and that requires more time. Sometimes in those situations I encourage the one I'm coaching to hire a consultant who can devote the needed time, and I remain as chief encourager during that crisis time.

4. Work harder than your mentor.

Don't waste your mentor's time. Show up with well thought through and relevant questions. Take notes. Work hard to practice what was discussed, and the next time you talk, tell him or her what you have done.

A good mentor will always have some questions, a resource or two, and good advice, but the mentoring is more your job than his/hers. You set the agenda and come with it in writing. If your mentor asks you to do something, make the necessary adjustments, but do it. This does not prevent healthy disagreements and intense conversations, but you either want their advice or you don't. If you don't, that's ok, but then stop taking their time and end the mentoring relationship with respect and gratitude.

I've been blessed with five mentors over the course of my life and I'm grateful! I'm sure that's part of the reason I'm eager to coach as many as I can. I trust that you will also pass on what is given to you. 

ABOUT DAN

Dr. Dan Reiland serves as Executive Pastor at 12Stone Church in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He previously partnered with John Maxwell for 20 years, first as Executive Pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego, then as Vice President of Leadership and Church Development at INJOY. He and Dr. Maxwell still enjoy partnering on a number of church related projects together. Dan is best known as a leader with a pastor's heart, but is often described as one of the nations most innovative church thinkers. His passion is developing leaders for the local church so that the Great Commission is advanced. As a communicator, Dan has a down-to-earth style that combines humor and strategic thinking. Each year he "coaches" many pastors and speaks to several thousand people, impacting lives and strengthening the local church. Dan and his wife Patti live in Dacula, Georgia with their two children Mackenzie and John-Peter.

Related Articles:
"Team Morale"
"Evidence of a Vision"
"Young Leaders – Start Smart"
Where's A Good Mentor?
Iron Sharpens Iron




 

"Team Morale"

Guest blog by Dan Reiland

When I walk through the offices in any church, it doesn't take long for me to have gained an accurate sense of the staff's morale. Volume is usually my first clue. Ok, I'm kidding, but only a little! Teams with high morale don't behave as if they are in a library or museum! When I walk through the halls at 12Stone® Church where I serve as Executive Pastor, some days you'd think there's a party going on! And in some ways there is! I love it that way. Don't get me wrong, the 12Stone team works hard. But there is no reason it can't also be fun.

Warning signs of low morale:

(If you check three or more, even if "mild" circumstances, you need to work on improving the morale of your team. If you check either of the last two, please take action immediately.)

[ ] The team develops a critical spirit.
Faultfinding, complaining and negativism in general find their way into day-to-day work life.

[ ] The team exhibits an uncooperative attitude.
There is a lack of a servant's heart. Some are territorial and protect their own turf, and even have a political edge.

[ ] The team loses sight of the vision.
The big picture has been lost to individual agendas.

[ ] The team displays a lack of enthusiasm.
There is little passion and low energy. The teams are comfortable. For a few, it's "just a job."

[ ] The team reveals a lack of commitment.
Initiative is not strong. There is little risk in play. Meeting only the minimums and cutting corners is noticeable.

[ ] The team lacks spiritual fervor.
It seems more about work and less about prayer and God's favor. Momentum is probably lacking.

[ ] The team begins to cause more problems than they solve.
They function the opposite of the reason they are there! Most churches explode from the inside and this is how it happens.

[ ] The team shows a disregard and lack of respect for top leadership.
This is one of the most dangerous. Trust is in jeopardy and trouble is brewing. Ignore this and potentially lose your church.

[ ] The team uses low morale as a rally point.
This is a lethal warning sign! When the team uses low morale as a point to discuss, rather than specific issues to solve, it's past time to take action!! Jump on it. Confront the issue. Call a consultant. Do something!

Let's continue in the diagnostic mode. The next list includes a number of the top things that will lower your team's morale. Which ones do you need to work on?




Morale Busters
• Unclear responsibilities and expectations.
Even well-written job descriptions are often unclear. Wordy paragraphs filled with philosophical and theological overtones leave the staff member wondering what they are being asked to accomplish. It's better to have a short and very "net" bullet list of measurable expectations. Review that list at least twice a year.

• Inconsistent or unavailable leadership.
There is nothing worse than a moody leader and one that is hard to get to. Even the best of staff need leadership! This doesn't mean you need to provide an "open door" policy, but being available and quick to respond is important.

• Top leadership not willing to confront problems.
From end-runs to gossip to poor performance, many church staff teams suffer from some level of dysfunction including immaturity. While it may not be pervasive, it can begin to erode good morale. Facing problems quickly, honestly and with integrity goes a long way to improve morale.

• Under-staffing and over-staffing.
Prolonged under-staffing causes stress and frustration. Over-staffing allows a team to get comfortable and lazy and doesn't help to attract eagles to your team. Lean staffing is best. Lean staffing means hiring the best, but running the team a little light because the leaders can handle more.

• Poor Communication.
This is the most common on the list. In fact, I've never been to a church that didn't struggle to achieve good communication. This isn't meant to excuse the issue. In fact, it's more to acknowledge that we all have to work on it, and the better the communication the better the morale.


• The absence of professional evaluation and constructive feedback.
People want to know if they are doing a good job or not. They really do! Regular and written evaluations are vital to a healthy and growing organization. For a sample system, go to my blog at http://danreiland.com/ and click on Resources. Check out MAPs and "7" Coaching Conversation.

• Lack of initiative for leadership development.
Simple and consistent investments of leadership development are essential for a healthy and happy team. If the staff are not growing and getting better at what they do, the church can't achieve the Great Commission success it desires. I'll give an idea of what you can do in "Morale Builders" under "Invest in your leaders."

• Absence of a clear vision.
You know I couldn't leave this off the list! It's obvious I know, but without vision, and without clear direction and a strategy of how to get there, the morale of your team will decline.

Morale Builders
• Generous amounts of encouragement and gratitude.
Nothing lifts the human spirit quite like sincere encouragement. You really can't over encourage someone! Consistently expressing gratitude to each individual on your team goes a long way to increase morale. It's amazing what a simple thank you can do!

• Maintain high receptivity to change.
Growing organizations are changing organizations. Your church is no exception. If you have been doing the same things over and over, I can promise this causes an ebbing away at the morale of your team. Ask the hard questions about what needs to change, not for the sake of change, but to get better at what you do.

• Embrace risk and creativity in order to realize the vision.
Leaders take risks. Yes, it can raise your blood pressure but it also increases your faith and keeps the team alive! Prayerfully ask God where He wants you to be pressing against the edge. Experimentation is also needed to achieve the vision. This kind of creativity lets you try new things in an environment where it is hopefully ok to make mistakes.

• Cultivate positive and faith oriented attitudes.
It is surprising, but nonetheless true, that church staff teams can "sour" quickly. When the culture of the team goes toxic, you have a mess to clean up. Cultivating a positive spirit and sustaining strong faith doesn't happen automatically. You have to work at it. It requires intentionality. It requires honesty and confronting the issues. It's not a pie-in-the-sky attitude, it's a choice to see even the difficult things with a positive solution-oriented bias.

• Insist on results.
The team needs to know that results matter to God. It's not just about what the "boss" wants. The Kingdom is at stake. Teams get fired-up when they know everyone is kicking in on all cylinders and making things happen. When everyone is digging in and working hard to achieve success there is a wonderful kind of chemistry that gives a big boost to the morale.

• Invest in your leaders.
Leadership development is near and dear to my heart, and I hope it is to yours too. There are so many things you can do to help your leaders grow, but it's important to keep it simple and consistent. You can start by simply taking a group through a good leadership book asking two questions. 1. What are you learning? 2. How are you applying what you are learning?


• Lean into trust and the benefit of the doubt.
When your team has a high degree of trust in each other the morale gains an automatic boost. One of the best ways to cultivate trust is to establish within your culture a commitment to grant each other the benefit of the doubt. This includes in everything from email to group meetings. Assume the best! And if you are not sure, ask!

• Promote a sense of community.
Even in the midst of hard work, the team needs to play and take time to care about each other. Above all the job descriptions rides the truth that each one on your staff is a human being with their own hurts, struggles, joys and questions in life. It's so important to acknowledge and embrace this truth. Take time to talk, pray and play together!!

This article has been kind of a "lists on steroids" edition of the Pastor's Coach. I encourage you to take some time with your team and look at the lists. Talk honestly through them. Share some fist-bumps about what you are doing well, and work on the areas that needs improvement!

ABOUT DAN

Dr. Dan Reiland serves as Executive Pastor at 12Stone Church in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He previously partnered with John Maxwell for 20 years, first as Executive Pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego, then as Vice President of Leadership and Church Development at INJOY. He and Dr. Maxwell still enjoy partnering on a number of church related projects together. Dan is best known as a leader with a pastor's heart, but is often described as one of the nations most innovative church thinkers. His passion is developing leaders for the local church so that the Great Commission is advanced. As a communicator, Dan has a down-to-earth style that combines humor and strategic thinking. Each year he "coaches" many pastors and speaks to several thousand people, impacting lives and strengthening the local church. Dan and his wife Patti live in Dacula, Georgia with their two children Mackenzie and John-Peter.

Related Articles:
"Evidence of a Vision"
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"Evidence of a Vision"

Guest blog by Dan Reiland

"We grow by dreams. All big (individuals) are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day, or the red fire on a long winter's evening. Some of us let those dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nourish them through the bad days until they bring them to the sunshine and light -- which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true." ~ Woodrow Wilson

Some people are just "dreamers." Some people work hard and see their dreams come true. Vision starts in the heart of a leader, and like Woodrow Wilson said, it is nurtured until it becomes a reality.

William James said: "A new idea is first condemned as ridiculous and then dismissed as trivial, until finally it becomes what everybody knows." If you understand vision, you understand what James has said. It's the nature of vision. You see it first. And you were the first to say it and attempt others to help achieve it.

If you are a leader in a local church, you might be tempted to think that there are many leaders who have a vision for a vibrant local church. That's true, but only YOU have a vision for YOUR church. Whether you are the senior pastor, or a department leader or a volunteer who leads a small group, you need a vision to lead. What is your vision for the people God has entrusted you with?

In the previous edition of the Pastor's Coach, I talked about communicating a vision. In this article I'd like to discuss ways in which you can see that your vision has gained true traction. Momentum is the more popular word, but I like traction. It's a more gritty word that aptly reflects the work involved in seeing a dream come true.

I have listed "evidence" of vision that has caught traction here for you. Think about your vision and compare to these thoughts.

• A deep passion that captures people's attention.

Your vision will only burn as bright as you do. This idea is not about you "working up" something or "turning on" the hype. When this passion comes from deep within you, people will sense it. The impact is palpable. It is inescapable. You will have the people's attention. They will be excited. They'll ask questions and want to know what's next. They will be eager for more information. They will be proud of the vision and tell their friends.

• A sense of believability for a better future.
We are in an election year. I listen carefully to what presidential candidates say and I immediately have a sense of what I believe is possible, probable, doable and what I think will never happen. Your church is very similar, just on a smaller scale than our national government. And hopefully much more efficient! Faith is always involved, but the people do need to be able to "see" it with you, at least see enough to believe with you.

• A largeness that creates enthusiasm.
This is not about numbers, though numbers matter. The idea of largeness is more about being bold for the sake of the Kingdom! It's the "go big or go home" idea. The vision needs to be large enough to require God in the mix or it won't work. You can see the need for balance between "believable" and large!!

Leadership is an art and crafting the vision is just as important as communicating it. There is a direct connection between the size of the vision and the level of enthusiasm. Last Christmas 12Stone® Church fed 6,000 families over the Christmas holidays. The number mattered. It is important to feed 6 families, but that would not have generated great enthusiasm. You see the point.

• A dedication that inspires sacrifice.

This is similar to passion. The difference is found in your tenacity. Passion can be big, but short term. Dedication is long term, and requires determination and resolve. Candidly, it's easy to be passionate for a short time, but to be dedicated for years, even decades, takes an uncommon leader. This will result in a dedication found in the people. Much like passion, the people will not be more dedicated than you are to the vision. The outcome is a willingness to sacrifice. The sacrifice can be seen in time, energy, and financial resources.

• Resources flowing toward the vision.
Now we really get practical! Money! Let's be candid, money follows vision. Without financial resources, no matter how godly you behave, the mission can't move forward. Many of us who are pastors don't like admitting that truth, or operating within that reality. But nonetheless, it is the way it is. Candidly, I think it's the way it should be. A worthy vision shouldn't be free, and a vision that is truly worthy will attract financial resources. No church ever has "enough" but God will supply what we need to accomplish the vision.

• An application that is transferable.
On many occasions I have traveled to churches and listened to a vision that seems like it was wrapped up in the pastor, or the pastor and a few key leaders. I don't mean this in a negative way to those pastors, but they simply were not aware. It was the pastor's dream and vision, not something that the entire congregation owned. Again, it wasn't that the pastor didn't want the people to be involved, but it was apparent that the people couldn't do what was involved, or they weren't needed except for a few tasks. One example I remember was a television ministry. There is nothing wrong with that, and I'm sure it was to reach more people for Jesus, but all it required was the pastor and a small tech team. That vision never transferred well into the hearts of the people.

• A soundness that stands up to scrutiny and the test of time.
You know the difference between fluff and something of substance. Last summer I was shopping for a new grill. Some were thin and wobbly and others were solid and stable. It was obvious which ones would last for several years and which ones would barely make it through the summer. Your vision is the same. It needs to have a biblical soundness and a solid nature that stands up to examination over time. It needs to make sense and have obvious evidence that it was well thought through. This does not suggest that you should make it complicated. In fact, sometimes making something simple, which is in reality complicated, is far more work than the reverse!

• You cannot be silenced!
When my kids were younger and they really wanted a certain toy for Christmas, there was no silencing them! Those "toys" have grown into things like an iPhone! They dream big and never give up! I love this thought. It's simple but powerful. If God has breathed a vision in you, you simply cannot and will not be silenced. That's it! Compare this to the things we want silenced like negative talk and gossip. Wow, what a difference. Don't let anyone shut you down. Keep talking your vision!

So as you reflect on these eight thoughts, how are you doing? Where are you strong? Where can you improve?


"This article is used by permission from Dr. Dan Reiland's free monthly e-newsletter, "The Pastor's Coach," available at www.INJOY.com."

Dr. Dan Reiland serves as Executive Pastor at 12Stone Church in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He previously partnered with John Maxwell for 20 years, first as Executive Pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego, then as Vice President of Leadership and Church Development at INJOY. He and Dr. Maxwell still enjoy partnering on a number of church related projects together.
Dan is best known as a leader with a pastor's heart, but is often described as one of the nations most innovative church thinkers. His passion is developing leaders for the local church so that the Great Commission is advanced.
As a communicator, Dan has a down-to-earth style that combines humor and strategic thinking. Each year he "coaches" many pastors and speaks to several thousand people, impacting lives and strengthening the local church.

Dan and his wife Patti live in Dacula, Georgia with their two children Mackenzie and John-Peter.

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"Young Leaders – Start Smart"

It's been a while since I posted something - and I loved this piece I just read. So, here's a great article by Dan Reiland. Dan was one of John Maxwell's key staffers at Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego. He has a lot to say about leadership development, particularly in a church environment. This piece is specifically designed for those starting out in ministry, but any leader can find some takeaways here. Enjoy.


by Dan Reiland

Are you heading to your first church? Maybe your second? You probably feel a combination of passion and uncertainty. How you start out in your church matters greatly.

Olympic coaches and runners have taught us that how a sprinter comes out of the blocks is a significant factor in how well he or she runs the race. The same is true for a leader in a local church. If you get off on the wrong angle, or wrong foot – it may be a difficult race at best.

There is no one formula that fits every person, but there are guidelines that can help you get out of the blocks strong, swift and sure-footed. The guidelines offered here work best based on the assumption that you have prayerfully chosen the right church.

• Transition from leading person to leader.
Some young leaders I talk to consider their first church the fifth year of college – and their real education! Just saying. When you make the transition from preparation, (from college or an internship or whatever it might have been), to your church, there are several adjustments to be made.

The most crucial of these adjustments is a change of mind-set from one that focuses largely on moving (growing) yourself from point A to B, (graduation), to moving an entire congregation from point A to point B. It's a huge difference. The transition is from being a leading person (one who does things well) to being a leader of persons (one who leads others to do things well.) A leading person may excel in what they do personally, but has no track record in leading others to excel together. It's a gigantic transition from being a good student to a good leader. Don't let it overwhelm you. Just knowing you need to make the shift is half the battle!

• Learn as much as you can as fast as you can.
Learn the history of the church. The past will give you great insight about to how to lead into the future. Spend time getting to know the leaders. Find their heart and learn what they think. Ask about the strengths and weaknesses of the church, but not like a consultant conducting a survey, ask like a parent who cares about their kids.

Still on learning, but from a different angle, I encourage you to find a mentor or two. Very specifically, find a pastor whose church attendance is just one step above yours. For example, if your church averages about 200, find a mentor who leads a church of 400. You want to learn what he knows!! Find a church as close to yours as you can. There is no secret to proximity. It's only for practical reasons. If you need to travel a couple hours to find one, then get your Starbucks on and start driving.

• Gather some change before you make change.
Change will always cost you as a leader, so you need "change in your pocket" before you make changes. This comes by earning trust, building strong relationships, and getting some wins under your belt. The good news is that the church will loan you some change upon your arrival. If you spend it well they will give you more. If you spend it unwisely, they will charge you interest that will kill you.

One young pastor used his borrowed change to announce from the platform on his first Sunday, without discussing this with anyone, that the choir would no longer be wearing robes. He said it was about time they caught up with the 21st Century. He didn't last long.

Another and wiser pastor, a United Methodist in Georgia, not a week on the job, saw that his church of 200 plus desperately needed a win. It was a plateaued church with little money and even less hope. They really wanted new choir robes but couldn't afford them. The pastor knew that choir robes had little to do with the success of the church in the big picture but was wise enough to know they needed a win. He told the congregation that God was big enough to provide the money for the choir robes – $2400. He stood beside the pulpit and lovingly challenged the people to give. He took a risk and God blessed. Over $2500 came in and you never saw such a pumped and enthused church. They thought, "If we can do that" what could we really do? The pastor gained serious "change in his pockets" that morning!

• Be yourself.
People like you best when you are yourself. Not everyone will like you, but people like you best when you are genuinely you. When you are yourself people can connect with you. When they connect with you they can trust you. When they trust you they will follow you. It's not easy, but it is that simple. Just be you.

Relationships are always important, but especially in the first three to six months. Invest time with the people, not to be their pal but their leader and friend. Let people get to know you as you get to know them. Don't try to make everyone happy and don't lose sleep worrying about what everyone thinks. Remember that while you lay awake at night thinking about it, they are snoring. Find the key leaders and care about what they think, but remain true to yourself.

• Develop leaders. This is obviously a much larger topic than a paragraph or so can cover in one article. But I can at least make the point. If you want your ministry to be larger than you, you must develop leaders to help you realize the largest possible Kingdom impact. It's not about numbers and size, it's about impact. I don't care if your church is 100, 1,000 or 10,000 as long as it's growing and people's lives are being changed. You need more leaders to help you do that.

If you are already doing leadership development, great! Skip this paragraph. If you are new at it, let's get started in a simple doable pattern. Here it is. Gather up a small group of leaders. They can be paid staff, volunteer or a combination. It's OK to have rookie leaders with potential and veteran leaders if they want to grow. Pick a great leadership book and meet twice a month to learn leadership together. Hit a chapter or two each time and focus on two things: 1. What are you learning? 2. How are you applying it? That's it! The key is simplicity and consistency. Leadership development is a lifelong commitment not an event. Stay at it. Leadership development can get much more involved than what I just said, but those two things work very well. Just keep doing it and you'll expand your process naturally.

If you'd like several good book suggestions to develop leaders with go to my blog at http://danreiland.com/ and click on the "books" button.

• Chase God.
This may be the most obvious of all, but curiously it gets left out more often than you might think. Young leaders are so eager to lead, build and succeed that it's easy to crowd out that which really matters. Don't get me wrong. I applaud the zeal, energy and hard work. But God is the one who adds the favor, blessing and true power to make anything of eternal value happen.

The two things that will keep your heart hot for God are prayer and evangelism. Stay close to God and never lose a heart for people who are far from God.

Yes, you and I could make this list longer. But if you make it much longer you'll get lost in the list. The idea is just to get started on the right foot. Start smart and the rest will come in time.

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