5 Key Websites for the Christian Leader

I've been researching resources over the past week or so and have found, what I believe are, some key web-sites for Christian leaders to bookmark and return to often. With the ready availability of leadership resources today, there is no excuse to go under-resourced. The greatest challenge today is narrowing down that ever-growing list to find those that are the most helpful. I hope this blog post helps with that.

Church Planting
Ed Stetzer - The Lifeway Research Blog. Ed Stetzer is an author, speaker, researcher, pastor, church planter, and Christian missiologist. Stetzer is a contributor to the North American discussion on missional church and church planting.

Ministry/Leadership
ChurchLeaders.com - This great site has resources for ministry leaders from Lead Pastors, to CM, Youth Ministries, Worship Pastors, etc... It also provides a compilation of blog posts relevant to ministry. There's something for everyone and is worth a daily visit.

Coaching For Pastors
ServingStrong.com - Scott Couchenour provides some great encouragement and coaching for pastors who need some help. If you're stressed out or feeling close to burnout, spend some time with Scott. In his own words: "I’m a recovering burnout and depression sufferer." His blogs are short and sweet and helpful.

Pastor's Perspective
RonEdmondson.com - Ron is the pastor of Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, KY. He is also a consultant to church leaders, a church planter and founder of Mustard Seed Ministry, which provides devotionals, family resources and leadership materials. Lots of great material to glean from here.

Church Administration
InsideNorthpoint.org - I stumbled on this site which provides an inside look at how one of the most successful churches in America - Northpoint Community - runs the business side of things. You'll find sections on Budgeting, Facilities, Committees, Church Structures, etc... Lots of stuff to keep the admin minded leader occupied.

These are just a few that I have found to be helpful. What sites are you using to help you in your ministry?

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Prime The Pump

 

Book Review: "Switch - How to Change Things When Change is Hard"

Chip and Dan Heath's book "Change" was one of the books recommended at a Leadership Summit I attended a couple of years ago. They are a couple of sharp young guys who wrote this book after doing extensive research in psychology, sociology and other fields on how to bring about transformative change.

I found this book appealing as a pastor because a large part of what I do is try to help people bring about positive change in their lives. This book is written to help leaders understand why and how people change, what keeps us from changing, and how to overcome obstacles to change.

For instance, in each of us we find that there tends to be a conflict whenever even a positive change is suggested. As psychologists have discovered, our rational mind (the rider) understands the need to change, but our emotional mind (the elephant) resists change because change involves action and disturbing existing routine. However, if we can find a way to overcome that tension, change can happen quickly.

They begin by highlighting three surprises regarding change which were discovered through studies. The first is that What looks like a people problem is often a situation problem. In other words, we ought not to assume that people don't want to change. Often, they are in situations that make it difficult for them to change.

The second surprise is that What looks like laziness is often exhaustion. This is because often people are trying to change through the power of self-control, which can be emotionally exhausting. Self-control is an exhaustible resource. The bigger the change, the harder it is for someone to force themselves to make.

The third surprise is that What looks like resistance is often a lack of clarity. Sometimes we really don't know how to get to the other side, we just know that we want to change. We can find ourselves spinning our wheels because we just don't know what to do.

In the book, the Heaths provide a three-part framework for helping to facilitate change and to overcome these three problems.

1. Direct the Rider (Rational Mind) 
2. Motivate the Elephant (Emotional Mind)
3. Shape the Path

Using real life examples and case studies, we can see how even entrenched behaviors can be changed when the right information is provided clearly. We may assume that people simply don't want to follow our advice when, in fact, they don't understand the situation in the same way that we do. Ask yourself how you can demonstrate it more clearly.

They also demonstrate why it is important to engage people's emotional side in order to build momentum. If a person doesn't feel that change will have a worthwhile benefit they will resist. It's human nature. But when the emotional side of us is engaged, a great deal can be accomplished.

Finally they talk about one of the greatest ways to facilitate change - shaping the path. This speaks of environmental changes. This may be as simple as hiding the large plates and using only the smaller ones if your goal is to lose weight. Or it may mean using a two-step switch that requires two hands to activate for dangerous equipment in order to keep hands clear.

There are great examples in this book of ordinary people who were able to bring about radical change.

• Medical interns who defeated an entrenched medical practice that was endangering lives.
• A home-organizing specialist who developed a simple technique to overcome the dread of housekeeping.
• The manager who reversed the reputation of a customer-support team from failures into standard-bearers.

This book is well worth the read for anyone who leads people, because leadership is all about facilitating change. If you have some changes that you need to make in your life, this may be helpful to you as well. For those who know me, do you think it's a coincidence that my desk and office are now clean for the first time in recent memory? I think not!

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Prime The Pump

There's an old story about a traveler who hiked for many miles across the Desert Mountains. His water supply was gone, and he knew that if he didn't find water soon, he would surely die. In the distance, he noticed an abandoned cabin and hoped to find some water there. Once he made it to the cabin, he discovered an old well. Then he noticed a tin can tied to the pump, with a note inside.

The note said:

Dear stranger: This water pump is in working condition, but the pump needs to be primed in order for the water to come out. Under the white rock, I buried a jar of water, out of the sun. There’s enough water in the jar to prime the pump, but not if you drink any first. When you are finished, please fill the jar and put it back as you found it for the next stranger who comes this way.

This parable is really about giving back, or paying it forward, if you like. What kind of a leader are you?

Are you the kind of leader who thinks only in the short term, or does your vision extend beyond perhaps even your lifetime? What can we learn from this parable?

1. There are risks to take in leadership. It's not easy investing precious resources in something that can potentially give you a return. It's very tempting to look at that water and think about all of the "what ifs." What if I use this water to prime the pump and the pump still doesn't work - then I'm stuck with no water? What if this is just some cruel joke?
2. Real leadership takes faith. It takes a lot of faith to pour out water that could save your life. Sometimes leadership requires stepping out and doing something that risks our very survival, simply because it's the right thing to do.
3. Real leadership cares about those who follow after. The easiest thing to do here would be to drink deeply from the bottle, slake your thirst and then go happily on your way. But there will be another weary traveler crossing those mountains someday. Without your conscientious effort, they will more than likely perish. Someone cared enough to make provision for you; will you return the favor?

It's believed that Isaac Newton was the first to popularize the phrase: "If I have seen a little further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants." It speaks well to the subject of leadership. Each of us in leadership have learned what we know from leaders who have gone before, whether in person, by recording or in written form. And each of us then decide what kind of leader we will become.

Many years ago I attended a conference in which John Maxwell spoke of his desire to add value to everyone he met. That thought has stuck with me through the years. Will you leave people better off than when they first met you, or will you simply take advantage of what they have to offer and move on to the next client (victim)? What difference could you make if you made a commitment to add value to every person with whom you come in contact? It seems to me a better option than leaving a legacy of very thirsty people. Don't neglect to prime the pump!

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Some Articles Worth Reading - For Pastors

 

Here are three helpful articles that I wanted to pass on for all of the pastors and ministry leaders out there. There's nothing earth-shattering here - just good things to be reminded of. I hope you enjoy, and if you come across helpful links, please drop me a line at tdbok@rogers.com

 

3 Things Every Pastor Should Unlearn - by Pete Wilson

 

 

 

 

Solid Advice for Young Leaders from Dr. Billy Graham  - by Ron Edmondson

 

 

 

 

IN THE WAKE OF LEADERSHIP - by Andy Stanley

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Learn This Before You Lead

 

Here's a great article that I came across recently that deals with a subject I've been thinking a lot about lately - followership. We don't talk a lot about it. It's not even a word actually. But as a concept, it's vital for leaders. The basic idea is this: everyone follows someone, and before you can lead effectively, you must learn how to follow. I will let August Turak teach this lesson, he does it far better than I could. 

Click on this link for the whole article:

The 11 Leadership Secrets You've Never Heard About

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Cool Link of the Day #4

How To Avoid Burn-out

A while ago I listened to an interesting lesson from Wayne Cordeiro, a Pastor and teacher from Hawaii. He was sharing some of his experiences with burnout and how to avoid it. This lesson is particularly helpful for anyone in the people business - teachers, health professionals, pastors, social workers, etc..., but also for anyone in a high-stress job.

Here it is in a nutshell. Each of us have a limited capacity emotionally. While we may think that we are superman or superwoman, life has a way of demonstrating how wrong we are. The landscape is strewn with many from the helping professions who have crashed and burned after pushing it too hard and too long. Each of us have to learn our limits, and ensure that we build in time and activities that refill us.

Wayne uses the analogy of an emotional fuel tank. It's something that we don't often think about, but keeping that tank full is important to our long-term success. None of us wants to become a statistic.

So, here's the question, what are the things that you do that feed you emotionally; that help you feel better about life; that recharge your batteries? For some that may be long walks, sports, reading, traveling, going to the beach, gardening or any number of things. Whatever they are, you need to identify them, and you need to make them a regular part of your routine.

This seems counter-intuitive for many "Type-A"personalities, who tend to feel that they have to always be on the go. The truth is, without recharging, you are likely hurting your long-term productivity. I know, in my experience, sometimes the schedule has gotten away from me and, inevitably, what ends up getting dropped is the "me" time. The tank is then depleted and, if it goes too long, emotional damage is done.

I experienced this a few years ago in my own ministry. The church was growing, I was getting busier; trying to launch new initiatives and keep the ball rolling. I was trying to help others with their problems. I had other stresses in my life that contributed to a mounting sense that I was losing control. It took me longer and used more energy to do what I used to do. All I knew was that I stopped caring - and that's not a good place to be in ministry.

Thankfully, I had an understanding Board and a caring church family that allowed me to take the time I needed to get myself right. I learned some lessons the hard way during that time. Here are some of the bigger ones.

There's only one God, and I'm not Him.
Pastors, in particular, can tend to fall into this trap where they feel that they have to save the world. The truth is that we're all only human, with very real limitations. I've had to learn that there are some situations that are beyond my control. I've preached on this verse for years, but learned through these experiences just how true it is:  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7) Remember, as well, that none of us are indispensable.

Build margin and stay away from the edge.
What this simply means is that you have to choose carefully where you will spend your time. There are two opposite temptations for pastors: one is to become a workaholic and never take time for themselves; the other is to be lazy and to neglect their ministry. Both are wrong and damaging in their own way. The key is balance. If you are going to take time for yourself you have to build that into your schedule and you have to learn to say no (something I have a hard time with). Learn to prioritize, remember the Pareto Principle: 20% of your activity will provide 80% of the productivity.

Know yourself.
You need to be able to tell when your stress level is rising and you need to know what to do about it. In this case especially, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. When you sense the pressure building, offload the stressors if you can and do something to recharge. It's better to take a couple of days sooner, then be forced to take a few weeks or months later. 

Identify what gives you energy and what takes it away.
There are some things in my ministry that I do because I have to - they're part of the job. There are other parts of my job that I love to do. When you find your energy level being depleted, do your best to focus on the parts that you love, where your passions lie. 

We can be healthy, and we need to be healthy if we're going to continue to be of use to others. Ask yourself this, on a scale of 1-10, what would be the level in your emotional tank? If it's dropping down below 5, what can you do to get it back up in the healthy range? If you're running on empty, who do you need to talk to who can help you? Take care of yourself. Life is hard but God is good.

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"Evidence of a Vision"

Guest blog by Dan Reiland

"We grow by dreams. All big (individuals) are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day, or the red fire on a long winter's evening. Some of us let those dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nourish them through the bad days until they bring them to the sunshine and light -- which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true." ~ Woodrow Wilson

Some people are just "dreamers." Some people work hard and see their dreams come true. Vision starts in the heart of a leader, and like Woodrow Wilson said, it is nurtured until it becomes a reality.

William James said: "A new idea is first condemned as ridiculous and then dismissed as trivial, until finally it becomes what everybody knows." If you understand vision, you understand what James has said. It's the nature of vision. You see it first. And you were the first to say it and attempt others to help achieve it.

If you are a leader in a local church, you might be tempted to think that there are many leaders who have a vision for a vibrant local church. That's true, but only YOU have a vision for YOUR church. Whether you are the senior pastor, or a department leader or a volunteer who leads a small group, you need a vision to lead. What is your vision for the people God has entrusted you with?

In the previous edition of the Pastor's Coach, I talked about communicating a vision. In this article I'd like to discuss ways in which you can see that your vision has gained true traction. Momentum is the more popular word, but I like traction. It's a more gritty word that aptly reflects the work involved in seeing a dream come true.

I have listed "evidence" of vision that has caught traction here for you. Think about your vision and compare to these thoughts.

• A deep passion that captures people's attention.

Your vision will only burn as bright as you do. This idea is not about you "working up" something or "turning on" the hype. When this passion comes from deep within you, people will sense it. The impact is palpable. It is inescapable. You will have the people's attention. They will be excited. They'll ask questions and want to know what's next. They will be eager for more information. They will be proud of the vision and tell their friends.

• A sense of believability for a better future.
We are in an election year. I listen carefully to what presidential candidates say and I immediately have a sense of what I believe is possible, probable, doable and what I think will never happen. Your church is very similar, just on a smaller scale than our national government. And hopefully much more efficient! Faith is always involved, but the people do need to be able to "see" it with you, at least see enough to believe with you.

• A largeness that creates enthusiasm.
This is not about numbers, though numbers matter. The idea of largeness is more about being bold for the sake of the Kingdom! It's the "go big or go home" idea. The vision needs to be large enough to require God in the mix or it won't work. You can see the need for balance between "believable" and large!!

Leadership is an art and crafting the vision is just as important as communicating it. There is a direct connection between the size of the vision and the level of enthusiasm. Last Christmas 12Stone® Church fed 6,000 families over the Christmas holidays. The number mattered. It is important to feed 6 families, but that would not have generated great enthusiasm. You see the point.

• A dedication that inspires sacrifice.

This is similar to passion. The difference is found in your tenacity. Passion can be big, but short term. Dedication is long term, and requires determination and resolve. Candidly, it's easy to be passionate for a short time, but to be dedicated for years, even decades, takes an uncommon leader. This will result in a dedication found in the people. Much like passion, the people will not be more dedicated than you are to the vision. The outcome is a willingness to sacrifice. The sacrifice can be seen in time, energy, and financial resources.

• Resources flowing toward the vision.
Now we really get practical! Money! Let's be candid, money follows vision. Without financial resources, no matter how godly you behave, the mission can't move forward. Many of us who are pastors don't like admitting that truth, or operating within that reality. But nonetheless, it is the way it is. Candidly, I think it's the way it should be. A worthy vision shouldn't be free, and a vision that is truly worthy will attract financial resources. No church ever has "enough" but God will supply what we need to accomplish the vision.

• An application that is transferable.
On many occasions I have traveled to churches and listened to a vision that seems like it was wrapped up in the pastor, or the pastor and a few key leaders. I don't mean this in a negative way to those pastors, but they simply were not aware. It was the pastor's dream and vision, not something that the entire congregation owned. Again, it wasn't that the pastor didn't want the people to be involved, but it was apparent that the people couldn't do what was involved, or they weren't needed except for a few tasks. One example I remember was a television ministry. There is nothing wrong with that, and I'm sure it was to reach more people for Jesus, but all it required was the pastor and a small tech team. That vision never transferred well into the hearts of the people.

• A soundness that stands up to scrutiny and the test of time.
You know the difference between fluff and something of substance. Last summer I was shopping for a new grill. Some were thin and wobbly and others were solid and stable. It was obvious which ones would last for several years and which ones would barely make it through the summer. Your vision is the same. It needs to have a biblical soundness and a solid nature that stands up to examination over time. It needs to make sense and have obvious evidence that it was well thought through. This does not suggest that you should make it complicated. In fact, sometimes making something simple, which is in reality complicated, is far more work than the reverse!

• You cannot be silenced!
When my kids were younger and they really wanted a certain toy for Christmas, there was no silencing them! Those "toys" have grown into things like an iPhone! They dream big and never give up! I love this thought. It's simple but powerful. If God has breathed a vision in you, you simply cannot and will not be silenced. That's it! Compare this to the things we want silenced like negative talk and gossip. Wow, what a difference. Don't let anyone shut you down. Keep talking your vision!

So as you reflect on these eight thoughts, how are you doing? Where are you strong? Where can you improve?


"This article is used by permission from Dr. Dan Reiland's free monthly e-newsletter, "The Pastor's Coach," available at www.INJOY.com."

Dr. Dan Reiland serves as Executive Pastor at 12Stone Church in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He previously partnered with John Maxwell for 20 years, first as Executive Pastor at Skyline Wesleyan Church in San Diego, then as Vice President of Leadership and Church Development at INJOY. He and Dr. Maxwell still enjoy partnering on a number of church related projects together.
Dan is best known as a leader with a pastor's heart, but is often described as one of the nations most innovative church thinkers. His passion is developing leaders for the local church so that the Great Commission is advanced.
As a communicator, Dan has a down-to-earth style that combines humor and strategic thinking. Each year he "coaches" many pastors and speaks to several thousand people, impacting lives and strengthening the local church.

Dan and his wife Patti live in Dacula, Georgia with their two children Mackenzie and John-Peter.

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Wet Cement

Guest post by Mark Collins

On a small corner of a sidewalk, on a non-descript street in the west end of Brantford my name is immortalized. mark collins 67. With fear, fondness and a small twig I carefully carved each letter in wet cement. It was so easy, the twig glided through the impressionable gravelly paste. To change it now would require a diamond tipped high speed grinder and three city employees.

I was reminded of this cement incident last summer while parked on the QEW waiting for a cement truck to fill a 36 inch round wooden form that would become the support pillar of a new four lane bridge. The weeks long preparation before the cement was poured became tedious. Daily, at the legal limit, I drove past as a cement footing was placed deep in the ground to prevent any shifting due to weight, freezing or ground conditions. Days later, iron workers came and cut, bent and welded reinforcement rod to create a metal inner support cage that eventually would be hidden by the cement. Time passed, hundreds of thousands of dollars were spent as they dug, welded and then created the exterior forms. Now I was watching fresh wet cement being shaped into pillars that will stand long after I am gone.

Conversely, at the Guelph Line exit, just off the QEW, there are the remains of a cement truck spill. It is an oddly shaped clump of cement. It serves absolutely no purpose, other than to remind me each morning of the importance of preparation, reinforcement and formation of wet cement.

A lead pastor recently emailed me to say that the staff person that he had so much hope for was taking a lot more time, effort and resources than he had originally thought would be necessary. As I read his email I became dismayed thinking that soon this staff person would be sensing a call somewhere else. Shocked, I read the next line. The lead pastor said, “But I am totally committed to him.  I have NO desire for a crash landing.  I have ALL the interest to see him be everything Jesus wants him to be.”

If we leave this next generation to simply be poured into meaningless forms they will be ignored, useless and non-productive for Christ’s Kingdom.      

The challenge is for all leaders to engage in shaping Godly leaders for the future. This will require skilled workmanship and resources. One cannot merely assemble some rough structures to temporarily navigate some tough patches, thinking that it will be a long term solution. Building people and leaders into pillars who are the upholders of Holy Living, Biblical Standards and Christ’s Love should be our key priority. It will require effort, support, resources and accountability.   

DID YOU KNOW?  The Temple in Jerusalem had two main support pillars. The name engraved in one of those pillars was Boaz. Psalm 144 “Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.”

• This post was written by Mark Collins. He is a leadership consultant and a part of the Leadership Team for the Western Ontario District of the PAOC.

Why Don't You Like Me?

A lot of people go through life asking this question - why don't they like me? They look at others who are surrounded by friends and who seem to be people magnets and wonder - why can't that be me?

Believe it or not, many studies have been done to determine just exactly what it is that causes us to like someone. You may be surprised by the results. In his book, The Me I Want To Be, John Ortberg shares that "Out of all the causes - physical attractiveness, IQ, ability, personality type - the number one factor that determines whether or not you will like another person is whether or not they like us. If they like you, you will like them. If they don't like you, you will not like them." Of course there are exceptions, but in general this is true. So what are the implications of this?

For one thing, it appears that how we interact with people has a great deal to do with how they treat us. It seems that what Dale Carnegie taught years ago is true. He wrote a book called How to Win Friends and Influence People that was a bestseller for a long time. Here's a quote from that book: "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." In light of the studies Ortberg talks about, this seems to be borne out in real life.

The question, then, would seem to be, how can we develop a genuine interest in people? I'm not talking about learning sales techniques in order to fool someone into thinking that you like them. I'm talking about learning how to genuinely be a people person. I think the greatest example of this in history is Jesus Christ.

As we read the Gospels we find that people were drawn to him, and no wonder. He welcomed every encounter with anyone who was genuine. Even with those with whom He disagreed, His goal was to point them towards the truth. He crossed social and cultural boundaries to add value to people who were outcasts. He made world-changers out of people to whom no-one else paid attention. What did He see that others didn't?

Jesus knew that every person He laid eyes on was created in the image of God, and as such, had innate value. It was this principle that the U.S. founding fathers seized on as they stated in the preamble to the Declaration of Independence: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

In the context of Jesus' life and actions, He treated each person who came to Him with respect, recognizing their intrinsic value. As Bill Hybels said, “We have never locked eyes with someone that did not matter to God.” Christians, in particular, need to grasp this truth. We may disagree with people, but we don't have to be disagreeable.

It's about your attitude.

You can either see people as assets or enemies. If you view them with suspicion, they will sense that and not be drawn to you. If, however, you're one of those who believes that every stranger is simply a friend you haven't met yet, you will have no shortage of friends. Treat people as you wish to be treated (the Golden Rule). As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great."

Let's look at some good habits to develop if you want to be a people person.

• Smile.

This is so easy to do and makes such a big difference. Have you noticed that a smile is infectious? Try it on the next person you meet. Smile and greet them warmly. First impressions are important and a smile gives a good first impression. Most of the time it is reciprocated. When it's not, let it go.

• Show genuine interest.

Don't pry - that can be creepy. But allow the other person to tell you something about themselves. Engage in the conversation. One thing I've learned is that everyone has a story, everyone has dreams, and everyone wants to be heard. The problem with many of us is that we're often too busy talking about ourselves to listen. Good listeners are never lonely.

• Remember names.

This is something I have to work on. I remember when I first came to my current congregation. I met a man in the foyer before the service and we talked for a few minutes. As he left I said, "Goodbye Fred, it was nice meeting you." Now sixteen years later he has still not forgotten that I remembered his name. (I wish I could do that all the time). One method to try is to use the person's name three times in a conversation before you say goodbye. That helps to match the name with the face in your memory bank. There's no sweeter sound to people than their own name.

• Add value to people.

What can you do to make a difference in the life of the people you meet? Can you connect them with someone? Can you share information with them? Can you buy them a coffee? This afternoon I was in the drive-thru at the coffee shop when I noticed a friend of mine was in the truck behind me. I decided to be nice and buy his coffee. When I pulled up to the window I was surprised to find that the vehicle in front of me had already purchased mine! None of us spent a lot of money, but the kindness brought a smile to all of our faces.

Let me conclude with some helpful quotes on the subject:

• "This is the final test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him." - William Lyon Phelps
• "To love a person means to see him as God intended him to be." - Fyodor Dostoyevski
• "The most useful person in the world today is the man or woman who knows how to get along with other people. Human relations is the most important science in living." - Stanley C. Allyn
• "You have two choices: You can act as though you tolerate people, or you can appreciate people. Those who appreciate people are going to make others more comfortable." - Roger Ailes
• "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Teresa

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Creating Positive Change

Change - one of the most feared words in some organizations and the defining ethos of others. As we lead, it's also one of the prerequisite skill sets: the ability to navigate change successfully. That being said, I find the following quote from Lyle Schaller particularly insightful.

"Anyone seriously interested in planning social change would be well advised to recognize two facts of life. First, despite the claims of any, relatively little is known about change. Second, much of what is known will not work."

Now that we have that disclaimer out of the way, let's look at some keys to bringing about successful change in an organization.

• Be willing to change yourself.

If we are going to lead change, we must first model the adaptability required for change. There are some leaders who resist change in their own lives, yet expect others to be enthusiastic about it. Here's the how-to on personal change.

1. Admit the need to change.
2. Assume responsibility for that change.
3. Evaluate - why am I the way I am?
4. What can I do about it? Set personal goals. Find a mentor.
5. Start today.
6. Celebrate when you get there.

If you are comfortable with change, your people will be much more likely to follow.

• Lead for the benefit of the people.

People know when they matter and when they don't. In order to be a change agent that lasts, you must first win the hearts of your people. See The Levels of Leadership and remember, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." If people don't believe that you have their best interests at heart, they will not follow and will resist change.

John Maxwell uses an illustration where coins represent influence. When you are brought in to your new position you are given a certain amount of coins, which represent influence. When you make a good decision, an people recognize it, they give you more coins. When you blow it, you give some back. The wise leader recognizes whether they have enough coin to attempt a specific change. The more coin they have collected, the greater risk they can take. But be careful, when you run out of coin it's time to call U-haul.

• Create an environment where change is normal.

Begin small, but make positive changes. It's generally best, at least at first, to add rather than subtract. Give more options. This can demonstrate why the change you propose is better than its predecessor. Get some wins under your belt. As seen in the example above, this allows you to move to more substantive changes that will move your organization forward. You will find that as the organization moves forward, change becomes easier. It's much easier to steer a ship when it is moving; it's impossible when it's standing still. John Maxwell gives some very helpful tips for creating a climate for change in his book Developing The Leader Within You.

1. The leader must develop a trust with people.
2. The leader must make personal changes before asking others to change.
3. Good leaders understand the history of the organization.
4. Place influencers in leadership positions.
5. Check the "change in your pocket."
6. Good leadsers solicit the support of influencers before the change is made public.
7. Develop a meeting agenda that will assist change.
8. Encourage the influencers to influence others informally.
9. Show the people how the change will benefit them.
10. Give the people ownership of the change. 

• Be a vision caster.

People want to know why a change is taking place. They want to be convinced that this is a good thing and will benefit them and the organization before they commit. A skilled vision caster will paint a picture of a preferable future. Remember the Pareto Principle (20/80). Invest your time in influencing the 20% of your people who can help you influence the rest. If your top 20% aren't with you, wait, or be prepared for a long battle and likely failure.

So share your vision. Why is this a good idea? Remember that the goal is to move the organization forward and to improve the lives of your people. As Max Depree said, "In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are."

• Make incremental changes when necessary.

Sometimes major changes are necessary; and sometimes major changes in direction will result in many people being thrown overboard. The more established the organization, generally speaking, the more gradula th changes need to be made. In a quote from the church world, Pastor Ron Stewart says that "Every church will turn 180 degrees in 10 degree increments."

• Celebrate the victories.

Find creative ways to have a party when a change has been successful. This will help to create an environment where change is seen in a more favorable light and will likely make the next one easier. Make heroes of the successful change agents in your organization if that is a value you want duplicated. Remember that "what gets rewarded gets done."

Quotes on change:

• "The leaders in any organization must be the environmental change agents." - John Maxwell
• "Great change dominates the world, and unless we move with change we will become its victims." - Robert F. Kennedy
• "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." - Woodrow Wilson  
• "The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinions." - James Russell Lowell
• "If your horse is dead, for goodness sake - dismount." - Eddy Ketchursid
• "It's the most unhappy people who most fear change." - Mignon Mclaughlin

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When Confrontation is Necessary

I hate confrontation! I just thought that I'd get that out there right at the outset. I've never enjoyed difficult conversations; I'd much prefer to avoid them altogether. The truth is, however, that sometimes confrontation is necessary.

That being said, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it. If you want to look at the wrong way, take a peek at how the Parliament of Canada operates - or the U.S. Congress for that matter. In both cases the issue rarely matters, what seems to matter is who can yell the loudest or score the most points with their sound bite. It's not the place to take your child to learn about civil discourse.

The wrong way is also modelled often on Facebook and other social media. The airing of public laundry seems to have become the equivalent of a pre-emptive strike for some people. It's certainly not the place to get into a confrontation - you do know you can send a private message, right? As Ravi Zacharias says, "When we start throwing dirt, we both get dirty and everybody loses ground."

So, why and how should we confront? Let's look at the why first. (Full disclosure: I'm looking at this from a Biblical perspective.)

We should confront when we firmly believe that we are doing so for the good of others. Confrontation should not be about evening the score, or putting someone in their place. That is revenge. In Romans 12:19 God says, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay.” No, confrontation ought to be done, first of all, for the good of the person being confronted. I try to assume that everyone wants to do the right thing until proven otherwise.

We should confront when coming to the aid of someone who cannot defend themselves.
There are times when we see things that need to be dealt with. Bullying is one example. When we stand by and watch someone being bullied without doing something about it, we are giving our tacit approval. One of the most powerful quotes I have read on this subject was written by Martin Niemoller, A Lutheran Pastor in Germany during World War II. He said, "When they came for the Jews, I did nothing, for I am not a Jew. When they came for the Socialists, I did nothing, for I am not a Socialist. When they came for the labor leaders, the homosexuals, the gypsies, I did nothing, for I am none of these, and when they came for me, I was alone, there was no one to stand up for me."

We should confront when it's for the common good.
There are times in leadership when we must confront because not to do so would allow the organization to be damaged. The same goes for society as a whole. There are times when we do need to speak up firmly, but respectively, and confront - when we see injustice, abuse or neglect for example.

We should confront when we are in a position of accountability to someone.
When in a position of trust we are to act accordingly. I am often asked to provide accountability for people, I take that very seriously. If I see something wrong and don't say something about it, that becomes my responsibility. Too many people are guilty of benign neglect - allowing things to slide because they don't want to step on toes.

Those are some of the whys of confrontation. Here are a few reasons why people don't confront.

• Fear of being disliked.
• Fear of making things worse.
• Fear of rejection.
• Don't know how.
• Who are we to confront? We're not perfect either.

Now let's look at some suggestions on how to confront.

Deal with issues as they arise.
Don't store up issues until you're so frustrated that you can't take it anymore. Nothing is worse, as an employee for example, than thinking that everything's fine only to be blindsided with a list of things you've been doing wrong for months. If it bothers you, talk about it politely when it's fresh, then move on.

Check your attitude first.
Remember, when we confront, our goal is to fix the problem or to restore a relationship - not to destroy a person. What are your motives? If they aren't right, perhaps you need to take some time to pray about it before you have the meeting. Don't contribute to the problem; be a part of the solution.

Start on a positive note.
People are much more willing to hear you out if they know that you care about them. As someone said, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

Outline the problem.
What is the issue that is causing the problem?
How is this affecting you or others?
Why is this a problem?

Encourage a response.
Prepare yourself for an emotional response. Often people may feel shock, bitterness or resentment and may want to "vent."

Put yourself in their place.
Try to understand how they may be feeling. Restate back to them what they've told you to demonstrate that they've been heard.

Communicate the expected result.
Focus on moving forward. People of good will want to move towards a solution. Let them know that you have high expectations for them.

Put it in the past.
Don't keep bringing it up again and again unless the problem is recurring. We have all made mistakes and would appreciate it if we could just move on after correcting them.

Here are some parting thoughts on confrontation that I've learned from experience.

• The longer you wait to confront, the harder it is.
• It's rarely as bad as you think it is.
• Aim for a better understanding; a positive change and a growing relationship.
• If you truly care about people, it shows - so work on you first.
• It's not about you, so don't make it about you.
• You really can be nice and honest at the same time. Try it, you might like it.

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The Importance of Defining Success

Guest post by Dr. Jeremy Stratton

You don’t start something new, you don’t take excess amounts of risk, with the idea that someday it will fail.

The reason you do your work, the reason you take on resistance, is to succeed.

What is the point of doing so much, taking on potential ridicule, quitting a stable job, risking your reputation, without success?

Part of our work is defining what success means, and most of us define it poorly.

When we dream and begin our work, we picture a form of success that looks like acclaim and recognition.

• Reaching the pinnacle of our chosen field.
• Attaining best seller status.
• Becoming wealthy through an IPO.
• Winning a grammy.
• Having 10,000 members at our church.
• Running fast enough for a gold medal.

Perhaps this is one potential definition, but if you choose this one for yourself, you are doomed to fail.

In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl warns against the idea of pursuing success.

"Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it."

A better definition of success? Dedication to your work. Surrender to another person through love. Surrender to a cause that is greater than yourself.

Success is found when you do a work you love. When you show up every day to do that very work, overcoming the resistance inside of you.

It is found in creating, in making something new. Something interesting.

It is having a vision for something great and then taking daily small steps in that direction.

It is believing the impossible.

It is learning from mistakes and becoming better at your craft for having “failed.”

If acclaim follows, then so be it, but don’t ever let it interfere with your true success.

• This post is written by Dr. Jeremy Statton. He is an orthopedic surgeon and a writer. His blog focuses on encouraging others to live a better story with their lives. You can connect with him on Twitter.

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Learn This Lesson First

There are many versions of this lesson, but I'll share it the way that I heard it the first time.

There was once a wise teacher who was asked to speak with a group of professionals and business students. He decided that the best way to communicate with them was through an object lesson. Here is what he shared.

He took a large one-gallon, wide-mouthed mason jar and sat it on the table in front of him. Then he took some large rocks and began to put them in the jar, one at a time, until he could fit no more in the jar. He then looked up at his accomplished students and asked them, "What do you think? Is the jar full?" All of them said, "Yes!"

He then pulled a jar of gravel from under the table and poured it into the mason jar, shaking it as he did so that the gravel filled the cracks between the rocks. He then asked the question again, "Is the jar full?" This time some of the students said "Yes," and some said, "No."

He proceeded to pull out another jar, this one of sand, from beneath the table, and began to pour it into the mason jar, filling each crevice that was left between the gravel stones. One more time he asked, "Is it full?" This time, the response was timid, again with some saying "Yes," and some "No."

He then took a ptcher of water on the table and began to pour it into the jar, continuing until the water reached the top of the jar. As he finished pouring he said, "Now, it is full." Then he asked, "Now, what is the lesson?"

An eager student raised his hand and said, "The lesson is that no matter how busy you are, you can always find time to do something else."

The teacher shook his head and said, "No, the lesson is this, if you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."

Here is a profound lesson on priorities - putting first things first. It's a lesson that has been stated in different ways by different people at different times. The greatest teacher in history, Jesus Christ, basically said it like this: "Love God first, then love people; everything else follows after these." (Matthew 22:37-39 - my paraphrase).

What is it that you are choosing to put in your jar first? What are the priorities that govern your life? Some choose success, position, money, fame or pleasure. All of us find, at some point in our lives, that none of these can provide long-term satisfaction, and certainly not anything of eternal significance.

The greatest lesson that any leader can learn is to, first, humble themself before the God of the universe. As Billy Graham said, "Wise men know when to bow." The writer of Proverbs wrote in Proverbs 9:10 - "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." We were created for eternity, by God, for His purposes. Understanding this first can keep us from the fate of many who have climbed the ladder of success, reached the top, and found that it was leaning against the wrong building. Don't let that be said of you.

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Cool Link of the Day #6

I've long been a fan of Andy Stanley's ministry at North Point Community Church in Atlanta. I've found many of their resources very helpful in my own ministry and in my leadership development. They've just created a page to put all of their on-line content on one web-page for easy access! So this easily qualifies for my Cool Link of the Day. I hope you find this as helpful as I have. Here is the link.

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The Pareto Principle

A long, long time ago, near the beginning of my ministry, I attended a leadership conference taught by John Maxwell. I ate up the material because it related to what I was facing in my church and life at the time. I was just reminded of one of the principles that he taught as I was sitting at my desk looking at literally scores of books that I want to read.

The truth is that you can't do everything. You can't read everything. You can't listen to every podcast and you certainly can't keep everybody happy. That's where the reminder about the Pareto Principle came to my puny little mind.

The Pareto Principle (also known as the 80–20 rule, the law of the vital few, and the principle of factor sparsity) was developed by an Italian economist named Vilfredo Pareto way back in 1906. What it basically teaches is this: for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. He observed, for example that, in 1906, 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the people. In his garden, 80% of the peas came from only 20% of the pea pods.

Frankly, I don't care about the peas and the pods or who owns what in Italy - the question for me is how can I apply this principle. Maxwell shared some great applications for my church and my life. Take a look at some of these examples and see if you have found these true in your environment:

• 20% of the people do 80% of the work.
• 20% of the people give 80% of the money.
• 20% of the people take 80% of the time.
• 20% of the people invite 80% of the visitors.
• 20% of the people make 80% of the decisions.
• 20% of the people teach 80% of the people.
• 20% of the time produces 80% of the results.
• 20% of the programs give 80% of the growth.
• 20% of the message gives 80% of the content.
• 20% of the job gives 80% of the satisfaction.

The bottom line application for all of us is this: if we devote our energy, time, and resources to the top 20% of our priorities, we’ll achieve 80% of the results we desire. This is one application of this principle that I have definitely found to be true. All of us are busy (some at things that don't matter, but that's another story). Many of us find ourselves with not enough hours in a day to accomplish all that we need to accomplish. So, obviously, choices need to be made. Here are some lessons from Pareto.

 

It's not how hard you work, but how smart, that counts.

I've known some very unsuccessful hard workers. They're certainly not lazy, but lazy is not the only way to be unproductive. We need to recognize those areas of responsibility that are going to move us the greatest distance toward our destination, and do them first.

 

Someone spoke of the "tyranny of the urgent." Without planning and evaluating, we end up constantly having to deal with things that are now "urgent," simply because we weren't paying attention. With my personality I learned a long time ago that I wasn't going to get a lot done without the use of a planner. Working hard was never an issue, working smart was.

 

Organize or agonize.

I say this as I'm surrounded by stacks of papers and files on my desk. I'm an "abstract random." I tend to move quickly from project to project and like to have a lot of things of the go. I can be like the talking dog in the movie "Up" who was constantly being distracted because he thought he saw a squirrel. I like squirrels, they're cute little furry animals, rodents actually that like nuts.... Sorry. The point is. I've had to learn (still learning) to organize my major projects or regret the missed deadlines.

 

For those with personalities like mine, this is an ongoing process. But I do find the principle holds true. I need to keep asking myself which of these projects will bring the greatest reward and refocus my energies on those.

 

Choose or lose.

The truth is that we are always making choices whether we want to be or not. If we do not choose to place first things first then we are choosing to place them somewhere else. When those important things are moved down on the totem pole our effectiveness drops as well. Sometimes we simply cannot do everything that is asked of us so we must choose - or lose.

 

Evaluate or stalemate.

Someone called it "the paralysis of analysis," the inability to make a decision. It's also been called the "ready, aim, aim, aim... syndrome." We have to set and maintain priorities if we're going to be effective in our chosen field of endeavour. How can we do that? Here are some questions to ask:

• How do we determine our priorities?

1. Requirement: What is required of me?
2. Return: What gives the greatest return?
3. Reward: What gives me the greatest joy?

• How do we maintain our priorities?

1. Evaluate: Where am I?
2. Eliminate: What am I doing that can be done by someone else?
3. Estimate: What is needed to accomplish my objective?

I know that I have a set amount of hours to work with in any given day and week. The question is, what am I going to do with that time? If I apply the Pareto Principle and focus on the top 20%, rather than the squirrels, chances are I'll get a lot more done. So, as far as my books are concerned, I think I'm going to figure out which 20% are going to give me 80% of what I need to know. The others look good on my shelf for the time being. By the way, if you're reading this, you're in my top 20%. : )

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6 WAYS LEADERS CAN BUILD TRUST

Guest post by Dr. Jeremy Statton

We have all had a boss that we did not respect. No matter how intelligent or charismatic, you knew that placing blind faith in him or her would be a mistake. You were always watching your back waiting for the sucker punch to come.

A lack of trust allows fear to become a primary motivation with your team members. They will fear your opinions. They will fear your decisions and evaluations. They will fear failure. They will fear you.

Once fear creeps in, your team members will become paralyzed.

Trust is something that has to be earned. It is something we are all told to give away slowly and to take back quickly.

Here are six ways that a leader can instill respect and trust in his team:

1. Expose yourself.
Open yourself to others. Not in a dangerous way where people can take advantage of you, but rather in a way that demonstrates honesty and humility. Your team needs to know that you are just like them. Be willing to admit your own failures. If you put up a wall around yourself, your team will too.

2. Take the hit.
When undesirable outcomes happen, we are all quick to point the finger. If your team members see that you are willing to take the blame for the good of the team, even if its not directly your fault, then they will start to let go and trust you. As leader of a team you need to accept the responsibility for both the good and the bad.

3. Build your team members up.
This is the opposite of taking the hit. Whenever it is appropriate make sure you praise your team members in front of their peers and superiors. Be sure to applaud their efforts and results. Never try to take sole credit for something good that the team did.

4. Get rid of the leash.
Allow for freedom to explore new ideas and to be creative. If people feel that you are micro-managing them, they will stop trusting you. Make room for failure and more importantly the opportunity to learn from failure.

5. Accept confrontation.
Fighting is not good, but neither is false agreement. When there is a difference of opinion, promote discussion. Explore solutions with the intent to solve problems. If disagreement never occurs, then your team is afraid of telling you the truth.

6. Find the value in each person.
We all have weaknesses, but we also have strengths. Everyone brings something different to the table. Find what is unique in each individual and use that unique strength for the good of the team.

• This post is written by Dr. Jeremy Statton. He is an orthopedic surgeon and a writer. His blog focuses on encouraging others to live a better story with their lives. You can connect with him on Twitter.

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Resources: Top Ten Lists For Canadian Christian Leaders

Recently The Leadership Centre Willow Creek Canada conducted surveys of Canadian church leaders to find out what was impacting their ministries. I know that I'm always on the prowl for resources that can help me with my leadership so I thought I'd share in one place for you what I found in a series of Scott Cochrane's blogs.

I was pleased to find that I already use many of these resources (so I'm not completely out of touch). I also was pleased to find that there were a few that I haven't checked out yet. Links to the applicable sites are also included  for your convenience. If you have some others that you've stumbled on and would like to share, please leave a comment. So here goes...

In answer to the question:
Which 3 AUTHORS, Christian or secular, are currently having the most impact or relevance to your ministry?

1. Tim Keller
2. Bill Hybels
3. Andy Stanley
4. N.T. Wright
5. Francis Chan
6. Dallas Willard
7. Eugene Peterson
8. Henri Nouwen
9. Brian McLaren
10. Patrick Lencioni
11. Ravi Zacharias - Wasn't on the list but I added him because it's my blog. : )

In answer to the question:
In 2011, what were the 3 most ministry-impacting BOOKS you read?

1. Sun Stand Still, Steven Furtick
2. Radical, David Platt
3. The Power of a Whisper, Bill Hybels Find book review here.
4. Surprised by Hope, N.T. Wright
5. Humilitas, John Dickson
6. Prodigal God, Timothy Keller
7. Sticky Church, Larry Osborne
8. Disappointment With God, Philip Yancey
9. Leading on Empty, Wayne Cordeiro
10. Simple Church, Thom Rainer and Eric Geiger
11. What Good is God? Philip Yancey - Again... it's my blog. See review here.

Final question:
Which 3 PODCASTS, Christian or secular, are currently having the most impact or relevance to your ministry?

1. Andy Stanley
2. Timothy Keller
3. Mark Driscoll
4. Bill Hybels
5. Craig Groeschel
6. Focus on the Family
7. Ravi Zacharias
8. Mark Buchanan
9. TEDTalks
10. The Meeting House
11. Erwin McManus - It's still my blog.

These are great resources for leaders. I hope that you take some tome and check them out. Remember to do something - every day - to help yourself grow as a leader.

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Key Leadership Qualities - Countability

This is one those "made-up" words, coined by John Maxwell. It captures the idea of people being able to count on each other no matter what. This lesson is about what it means to be a team leader and what it means to lead with character and integrity. So, how can we be a leader who has a reputation of "countability?"

Lead Yourself First
Thomas J. Watson (former chairman of IBM), said “Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others, as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” If you're going to lead, you must stay out in front. This means living a disciplined life, staying abreast of best practices and constntly looking for ways to improve. If you are growing, your team members know they can rely on you to lead the way.

Demonstrate Character
This quote by J. C. Watts is particularly true today. "Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught." It is the leader's responsibility not just to set a standard, but to model it. In fact, a leader should hold him or herself to a higher standard than others do. When we keep the bar high for ourselves, it helps others to be willing to do the same.

Know Your Team
This is about relationship. One thing we can know about people is that they want their leaders to hear them and to know who they are. If you truly care about your people they will follow you where they wouldn't follow someone else. Ask them the right questions and listen to their responses. What do you know about their families? What are they passionate about? What are their hopes and dreams? A wise leader recognizes that people are not means to an end, but are valuable in and of themselves. When you value people achieve their goals, they will believe in you and help you to achieve yours.

Model Servanthood
True leadership leads for others. Servant leaders recognize that the greatest way to build loyalty is to truly care. This is the type of leadership that was modelled by Jesus, who demonstrated His commitment to His followers by laying down His life. This is the same kind of leadership the Bible encourages men to model in their homes. This sacrificial model builds security in followers. When team members are convinced that the leader would "take a bullet" for them, they will show the same commitment to you and the team.

“Leadership is the ability to inspire others to follow you. A leader never pushes or pulls. A leader moves, and those around him fall in behind and go with him wherever he takes them because they trust him.” — Brian Cameron

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